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About Brave Topics

Brave Topics is an idea, a brand and a way of life. 
If you want to know more about Brave Topics here is where to look.  This includes information and links to Pumpkin Vines.  

 

My Pronouns

I work with a great organization in the background. (The Cloth Option)

The request was that everyone with a TOC email address add their pronouns to their email signatures.

I don't use an organizational email but was proud of them for including this in their template.

 

Back Story...

An amazing person that I was in college with back in 1996 (and not having an overtly sexual relationship with) wrapped her arm around my waist and said "Katherine is too much to say in bed. I'm going to call you Kat."
From that day forward I was Kat. After 19 years of trying to escape nicknames by October of my first year in college, I was Kat. My pronouns where she, her, hers. 
My gender identity was female; I identified with the straight community but was a vocal advocate for alternative lifestyles (as they were labeled.)

Less Recent Past…

It's 2006. I own a construction company. My pronouns are their & they. Although I felt overtly straight and female I heard the rattle of "Dyke" and "Lesbo" behind me, I was not offended.
My masculine expression did not equate to my sexual preference. It did have something to do with my sexual and nonsexual identity.
It was almost a joke. 

"Guy walks into a construction site and says 'Where's your boss' to the 40 something big black man, who responds says 'Their back there.'"
It is no joke that that person looking for me, a young white woman, would talk to everyone on my team but me.

Some may have considered me trans, butch or queer: I was just me.

More Recent Past…

It's 2013. I am a married school teacher. Fast forward and I'm going through IVF, then pregnancy and birth. My pronouns are she, her, hers.
I felt very cisgender and binary. 
I chose not to find out the biological sex of my child. It was going to be a baby. It would need the same things, with a penis and testicles, a vulva and vagina, or any combination. Their room was orange, lime green and turquoise with a puppy theme in homage to our 3 boxers. This small human needed to be prepared to be a dog lover from birth, not a pink princess or blue gentleman.

Today(ish)

I'm a single parent. I'm an educator, facilitator, and influencer.

Out at the park:

"Where is your parent?" my young person is asked by a stranger…

Day 1: "He's over there"  

Day 2: "Their over there"

Day 3: "She's over there"

Talking to my young person, they exclaim in delight:

Day 4: "I'm a pretty girl"

Day 5: "I'm a princess boy"

Day 6: "I'm so strong girl"

Days 1-6 and whatever my young person comes up with for 7:

Every day I respond:

"I'm right here"

"Yes you are"

 

Today my pronouns are fluid. 

In my head it is:

I, Ours, Mine, Me, We, Yours.

To my young person: 
"However I fill that role for you."

To people who don't know me & my life:
"She, Hers, Her"

To those who may ask:
"Their, They, Thank You."

I am brave. My young person is brave.

I am a (mostly) cisgender- but I would best be described as a genderfluid queer woman. I'm fine with that. I will not be offended by the pronouns you choose for me; for me, personally, gender is fluid, but I appreciate you asking.

About Brave Topics

Connecting Outside My Community 

The lessened learned in college impacted my adult life. I was involved in as many community events as I could connect with after leaving college. For me this included making sure that people in my life knew that I was open and affirming and that if they needed to talk about sexuality I wasn’t a professional, but I was a good storyteller and listener. 

My Sexual Educator Start

In 2009 I began working on my masters in special education. During that time I was also working at a residential youth program for young people that for a range of reasons could not live at home. Over the next two years I heard a lot about the social and emotional impact of sexual choices made by young people. When I moved to working with primarily non-verbal aggressive autistic students ages 15-22 I saw that the issues of sexuality permeated even that environment. Sexual inappropriateness can take many forms in autism, but what I quickly learned was that what we as educators called inappropriateness was my students lacking sexuality education. They had the urges felt by so many young people but not the understanding or social graces to understand what to do with those feelings. 

About Brave Topics

My Start as a Sexual Advocate 

Does anyone remember at their college freshman orientation having a time where each of the social groups got to tell an auditorium about their particular group? At my orientation at the end of the presentations we were giving a little slip of paper to check off what we might be interested in taking part in. I checked off “GALA” the Gay and Lesbian Alliance. I did not have any real question about my sexual identity; I saw this as an opportunity to support my classmate who may or may not have a “straight” friend to bounce ideas off of. I got contacted by the current group president through and invite in my school mailbox. I headed to the ‘Open House’ one afternoon and found a lovely woman who was indeed pregnant. After a quick conversation and not too much fan fair I became the President of GALA. My first move (as there were no active members) was to change the name… How could I be the president of a group called the Gay and Lesbian Alliance if I was not actually Gay. I wrote up a proposal to change the name to Alliance and brought it to the Student Government. Turns out if you are the leader of a group you are also a member of student government. 

The plot just kept getting thicker. 

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Post Types

This site focuses on a range of sexuality issues for adults and for caregivers of young people. 

Posts are categorized in a range of ways. 

    • Sit Down Topics: You can look for posts that are considered "sit down topics" meaning this is a topic that you're going to want to take a few minutes to specifically sit down and talk to your young person or partner about. These sit-downs may be more appropriate for talking while cooking, others might go better on a car ride. The idea behind sit-down topics is that they are areas that you will want to address with your partner or young person more directly. 

 

  • Questions I Don’t Want to Answer: These are the questions that come up out of the blue or maybe within a conversation about a similar topic. This blog will highlight a range of questions that you might come across. Want me to cover a particular question that you dread? Let me know and I will do my best to tackle it. This can be a question you have already gotten and think you did a great job answering; it can be a question that you are sure you botched; it can be a question you think could come up and want guidance on. If you want to share your question & answer I would happily post the topic. Email me at katherine (at) bravetopics.com to make a plan. 
  • Living a Brave Life: There are other topic posts that deal with particular issues that pop up in either consenting relationships or in caregiver young person relationships. 

 

 

Posts are tagged to make sure that you can find posts that are related to “caregiver and young person relationships” or “consenting sexual relationships.”

 

Brave Topics is for people throughout their sexual lifespan.  It focuses on not only adult sexuality but information for caregivers who are interested in finding ways to talk about sex with their young people. 

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Subcategories

Brave Topics works to compile meaningful resources to help break down heteronormativity in youth sexual education. Our Mission is to share inclusive and thoughtful resources with families and community groups.  

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