Personal Sexual Education Meaning and Holistic Sexual Partnerships

The idea of looking at sexuality as a holistic part of who we are as humans is accepted by many.  Holistic sexuality tends to join attitudes, values, and feelings with the more rigid confines set forward by a society.  Areas of society that impact sexuality include: cultural, religious, legal, scientific and political. There are ideas in society, so institutionalized, that how we view sexuality will take many generations to repair.  

Working towards holistic sexual self first.

Before a consenting adult can begin to thrive in a holistic sexual relationship they must first understand each area of personal sexuality for themselves.  

• Skin hunger 
• Each human has different levels of skin hunger.  Many people will have physical and psychological repercussions when their level of touch is met, or not met.   Not all people will require touch in the same manner; it is not uncommon for young people to confuse the need for emotional closeness and human contact with an overwhelming interest in intercourse. Knowing your own comfort level with touch and at what point you begin to suffer from touch deprivation is unique and deeply personal.  
• Gender identity 
• What identity is: gender identity is the way that any one person sees themselves.  This is not how they appear to the outside world. Gender identity is an internal manifestation of gender.  It is based on that person’s experience with gender. 
• External stimuli
• From birth till death most humans are stimulated in a range of ways. External stimuli that impact one person in a positive way may have an opposite reaction on the person they are in a sexual relationship with.  External stimuli may trigger reflexive biological changes; other stimuli may trigger a more voluntary reaction.  
• Sexual response cycle 
• The sexual being responds to stimuli: first there is desire, then arousal, followed by orgasm and finally resolution.  Each of these phases in the sexual response cycle can happen with or without a partner. In some sexual relationships one or more of the participants will go through some, but not all, of the phases in the sexual response cycle.  This could be due to diminished libido, sexual dysfunction, or emotional barriers to orgasm. The sexual response cycle is not necessarily linear. 
• Masturbation
• Masturbation and fantasy are two areas that allow an individual a personal space to explore their individual wants and needs.  Although some people are not comfortable taking part in unaccompanied masturbation that does not mean that a consenting adult can not take part in self-manipulation with a partner. Likewise, some people will not feel comfortable taking part in masturbation with a partner.  
• Fantasy
• Communicating with a partner about fantasy can be a positive piece of a healthy sexual relationship. For some, like masturbation, fantasy can be deeply personal.    It is important for people interested in sharing their fantasies to be clear with those that they share: the goal of fantasy is not always action. All people have the choice to share or not share their fantasies with partners.  
• Personal values
• Values around family and culture can impact healthy sexual relationships for people if they have not taken the time to build personal values.  Basing values solely on the beliefs of others can impact your ability to make healthy sexual decisions.  
• Body image
• Considering that everyone has a body, and that body was created to do a range of things you would think that everyone would love and respect that body.  Think about all that your body does for you: are you please with it? Does it ever let you down? Disability, injury, and biology all impact the human body.  When you consider entering into a holistic relationship many will want to start with themselves. A positive body image can be a battle for many people. The length of time that you spend in your skin may improve or diminish your body image. Tackling this may be a first step for many as they begin to consider their sexual being. 
• Spirituality
• This is not necessarily a relationship with an organized religion or a structured belief set.  The Oxford Dictionary says spirituality is: ‘the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things.’ Consider that for a moment.  Consider how you interact with your spirit, how do you feed your soul.  Understanding the importance of caring for your spiritual side will help you set boundaries, live your values and meet personal expectations for your sexuality.